When Students Strike, And Giving Things Back

One thing I noticed when invigilating exams (especially the ones I teach for) is how nicely the students look when they turn out. This is no coincidence, thanks to our weird (read: almost draconian) university dress codes, the poor kids have to show up as if they're attending a Raya function two months early. Gone are the jeans, the sandals, and the almost-but-not-quite baby tees. Instead, one sees a sea of baju kurungs and many, many boys with their shirts tucked in (and some ties).

If you must know, I just came back from such an exam.

All in all there are about 450 students in the first year paper I teach. Thanks to some smart delegating however, I only see about three quarters of them. This is something new that I observed today: when I'm in kick-their-arse (read: teaching) mode, I see them as little more than empty heads on shoulders. Something must have changed today because horror upon horrors(!!) I actually saw some who were, if not eminently shaggable, then by my standards cute.

This makes me uncomfortable, probably because so far I've never really equated them to being fully functional human beings in that sense. In class I have a job to do, so I try to do it well, and though I'm aware these kids have lives of their own, I generally always see them as well, kids. Unfinished products.

When I start seeing them as potentially sexual beings, that's when I know something's wrong. Sure, I know of people who've done the whole date-your-student thing, but my personal Jiminy Cricket has a thing or two to say about that. For one thing, their parents trust me to stuff some knowledge into their noggins, not date them. Secondly, it's just unprofessional (not to mention very very risky)*. Of course, if they were students from some other faculty or uni, I'd be a little more tempted to bend but still...

Oh well. In any case, I suppose I'll just take them as eye candy (and trust me, sometimes you need that, badly). Forbidden fruit may be tempting, but there's no guarantee it'll taste good, or if it won't make you puke really, really bad.

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* On the other hand, I have no problem with people pretending to be students, especially in those itty bitty little er, okay, I'll stop now..

During a short YM conversation with the Ex today, we discussed her coming over when she returns to the country in a month or two to collect the rest of her things, as well as going through the unpleasant business of deciding who gets what (for those readers who are new to this blog, I'll just say that I lived with her for most of two years) of our shared belongings amassed over those years. As she rightly pointed out, it's sticky if only because before this everything was "ours", not "mine" or "yours".

I foresee an emotionally draining, even painful little session, but there's no way around it. Things have to be wrapped up, personal issues aside. Besides, it'll probably the last I see of her before she flies off to her new life, and it'll be good to say a final goodbye face to face. I may not agree with the path she's choosing, but like most things in life, it's better to let go.

I've been asked by some people what to do to protect themselves from ever going through something like this. It's simple, really -

1) Never fall in love, and
2) Never give out of yourself more than necessary, or if you DO happen to break 1),
3) Try and make sure the other person's more in love with YOU than you him/her

If you can practice this (God knows if it's even possible!), come back and see me. I'm still working on number 0:

0) Get a life.

Till later, people. I'm off to be retrospective.

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p/s: I've been seeing a trend in people I know of going out with foreigners. I personally haven't tried that but hey, anything's worth a try before old age catches up..