The Big Three Oh (Not Yet)

Ramadhan's set to leave us, again. Inevitably, one might say.

As it is inevitable that being at home somehow makes me more reflective of the things that's happened in the part few years, and of the place I'm in right now. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

When I was six, my father first proposed that we move to a small town in Perak, one that I'd not heard of before. Strangely I remember a lot of that time, most of all being my childish reluctance to leave the place I was used to, and my friends. Actually, it wasn't that childish, because part of that reluctance DID come from a certain other seven year old, which we'll call Julie, who every so often would invite me over and- well, let's just say there goes my intentions of going into politics, and I mean really.

Still, when you're six, almost everything's an adventure. My whole life seemed to stretch, boundless and unknown into the future, and I can still remember how after we moved I use to sneak out and buy those little boxes of chewing gum from the shop across the road, throw (and lose) assorted boomerangs and frisbees into the trees, go to the cinema near the school every Children's Day (and get kacang putih from the kindly man at the stand outside) having a crush on a classmate...

Then came 16, and boy what an age that was. I was actually athletic, had a spot in a (supposedly) good school, and I felt like I could have done anything (and I very nearly did, too). I remember coming back on one of my holidays and actually thinking as I drifted off to sleep how I couldn't wait to get to 20, and how far away it seemed. 1995, that was. We'd just gotten the internet, and boy was life interesting.

We never really know why we wish for the things we do, do we?

Now at 26, I recall those days and remember so much, and then think of how I still have no idea where I want my life to go, not really. People from my past are settling down (I have the wedding invites to prove this) while I'm still fidgeting about my career, my (proposed) further studies, and what the hell I'm looking for. There's roughly four years before I hit the big three-oh, and I think I'm not alone when I say those are some years I hope will take their own, sweet, time.

Now excuse me, while I figure some more things out. Oh, and have a safe and happy Eid, everyone. I'll see you when I get back, I hope.