Closing Time

I needed a bit of quiet before an evening engagement (not with Das Experiment, if you MUST know) so I found myself at a table, assignments on one side, an Ed McBain paperback on the other, the MuVo and a caramel latte.



This is possibly as close to bliss as I can get without breaking the bank (though IKEA has possibly the best way you can spend RM 2, ever) but what I liked the most was simply the quiet. Something Jikon said here (Link) started me thinking; of how prone I am to just disengage from being in the present - and how sometimes I can't live anywhere BUT the present.

The past few months have been strange, because as I strive to live in the present (where I need to be) I am also nowhere, or perhaps nowhen. It's as if I am forever peering through semi transparent matte paintings of the past, overlaid with what I'm supposed to be looking at now; whilst the future hangs in the distance like a grey fog that I just can't really think about.

I think, I've been closer to not knowing who I am this early in the year more than ever, and that scares me.

Come the morning, I'll wake up, rush to the bathroom and resume normal programming. But for now - anyone's guess is as good as mine when it comes to where the fuck I'm going; or even where I am.

It's 12 midnight. Do you know where you are?