Dear Blog

Dear Blog, I haven't talked to you personally for a long time. Sorry, but I've been busy *sigh*.

Aerosmith was right. Falling in love is hard on the knees.

I never really explained why I had to go over to NZ. Maybe in some weird way I feel I owe you some sort of explanation. Or maybe this is a way for me to let out the demons in my head, and to start living again.

I fell madly, deeply, hopelessly in love once, and I think it's fair to say that for the first time in my life, I felt like something clicked. I was part of something bigger than myself, and it was good. It was stormy, and we went our separate ways for awhile. But I'll always remember November 5th 2001 was the day I got my life back, and it was better than ever.

But as they say, nothing lasts forever, and separation was called for. 10 000 miles now separated me from the object of my affections. Inevitably, things changed. It was hard on her as well, being alone in a strange place, surrounded by unfamiliar things. And there was no way I could guarantee my arrival soon enough.

And so it happened. Someone else came to fill in the empty spaces I left, and my story ended. I buried myself in my work to forget, but I never really got any closure. That is, until now. A voice crying for help on the phone in the office one day, and I was on the flight 2 days later. The date? November 5th.

What can I say? She was as beautiful as the last time I saw her, boarding that plane. And I saw then, how mistaken I was to assume I could jump start my relationship. She was in love, and in pain. I did the only thing I could do. I became her friend again.

It won't get any easier, I know. But I also know that I can only truly move on by letting her go, finally and irrevocably. Honestly I'm not the best person for the job, as I've only managed to make it worse for her ever since I got here. I only hope I can do what I set out to do properly and make things right.

We'll see. Byebye, blog.