Troy Reviewed

Finally, the food poisoning's receded enough for me to put my thoughts on Troy to writing.

Anyway, Troy is a decidedly above-average action/adventure flick that, while never actually rising to the level of being great, never really descends into Bad Movie territory either. Loosely based on Homer's epic poem the Iliad, it tells an abbreviated version of the infamous Siege of Troy, and how the Greeks finally defeated the Trojans (hey it's not a spoiler. Homer wrote it down a couple thousand years ago, so blame him). It's definitely popcorn-friendly, with buff men in skirts, somewhat pretty women and some ingenious action set pieces.

Wolfgang Petersen (who also directed U-571) is more of an action movie director, and it shows. There are some jagged edges in the flow, as if he wasn't sure how the audience would take the sudden change in his genre. It never really hurts the movie as a whole, but it IS noticeable in the last quarter of the film. For some reason that quarter feels somewhat rushed, as if Petersen was worried that audiences would not be able to stay past the 2 and a half hour mark. Perhaps an extended DVD release would fix this?

So yes, we have Brad Pitt as the buff, bronzed and ultimately sexy Achilles, Eric "Don't Make Me Angry" Bana as Hector, Orlando Bloom in one of his most pathetic movie roles ever as Paris and even Peter O' Toole as King Priam! (Apparently besides being nigh invincible, the Gods even blessed Achilles with the ability to appear wonderfully clean shaven in just about every scene!) I just have to say one of the best surprises the film threw at me was the inclusion of Sean "Boromir" Bean as Odysseus. He's definitely a good character actor, posessing of a quiet intensity that somehow manages to make his character seem more realistic than any of the other Greek heroes in the movie. Somewhat underwritten (which is understandable since this IS a feature for Pitt) Bean's Odysseus is perhaps the most believable of the lot, and one can only hope he gets more good exposure. The rest of the cast is rather cookie cutter, with the standard Hollywood characters: the greedy monarch, the hulking barbaric Greek with his axe, the assorted wretches who die in various ways, etc.

One major letdown (for me, at least) was the female cast, with the exception of the somewhat lovely vestal virgin Achilles got to shag. Helen was..to put it mildly, painfully plain. One would expect her to be slightly more..beautiful? As expected, most of the female cast weren't required to do anything but scream and look pretty. Very forgettable, unfortunately and I guess strong female leads don't really matter much in flicks like these.

And then we have the action. Historically, sieges have always been protracted affairs, sometimes taking up years and years (Homer writes that the siege of Troy actually went on for ten years before the Greeks decided to use the Trojan Horse). In this version however, for reasons that I can understand perfectly, Petersen decided to make the whole thing look like it took place over one long weekend. Besides some notable set pieces (the Trojan back-to-the-wall defence and the flaming fireball ambush on the Greek forces) the rest of the action is pretty much what we would expect from a semi historical film. There's the requisite masses of CGI warriors clashing, dust flying, blood splattering etc etc. Nicely, though not overly done.

In the end, Troy is an enjoyable, light flick that is easy on the eyes (especially for the women) and the brain. It's got nice chunks of action for the men, sneak peeks at Brad Pitt's bits for the women, and an uncomplicated storyline throughout. It's not the greatest, but I can think of worse ways to spend your hard earned cash, like watching Van Helsing, for instance.

The Ox gives Troy a 3.5 out of 5.