This Is Your Weekend, Ash

It all started with a dream.

You know, the kind that you struggle to wake up from and when you do it feels like someone just tried to drown you when it's just your head messing with itself. This weekend started off with work, after which I couldn't stand it and joined my friends Jo and Lia as they looked for a vacation spot at the MATTA fair.

It's nice to see so many people (and a lot of them families and young couples) rushing about from booth to booth looking for getaway spots and for the briefest moment I felt a twinge of envy at them for not being lonely, for having someone to plan a holiday with, and all that.

Still, I don't begrudge people their happiness. Some get there, some don't. That's how life goes, and I'll be damned if I know how it works.

Later that night I got a call from the Ex, where I found out she'd recently gotten engaged. After shaking that punched-in-the-gut feeling, I realised I wasn't very surprised. Maybe my subconscious has been prepping for this in the last year, but whatever it is, I'm also glad in a way. The announcement somehow marked the the tying up of loose ends, and also that for her at least, she's found a place where she can be happy, love and in kind, be loved, and I'm thankful for that. She deserves that, after all she'd been through.

Am I envious? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't, but then again, life must and will go on. As the Ex has made her choice, perhaps I will too, one day. But until then, the world will forgive me if I decide to revel in the occasional company of friends, video games, books, and assorted gadgets, and if I'm leery of relationships (temporary condition, I hope).

Speaking of which, my designated retail therapy for this particular event is either an Ipod Mini or a Pioneer Home Theatre system (yeah, it's time to bring out the big guns now). One needs big relief for potentially big depressive episodes. Any opinions?

Heheh. Well I'm gonna enjoy what's left of my Sunday, and you should too.

Peace.

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"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."
Philip K. Dick, in an essay entitled How to Build A Universe That Doesn't Fall Apart Two Days Later, 1978.