That Spongy Thing

One can't help it if the first thing one sees when he opens up BBC for his daily fix of news are two rather - er- scintillating articles, can he?

Today, they're both about men of course. More accurately, rather, men and their penii (I so dislike the word penises , plus this makes me sound smart).

The first one is good news for a fraction (optimistic?) of the male populace out there: a new operation can boost the size of men afflicted with what doctors call a micropenis (Link). Essentially occurring once in every 200 males, the new procedure can not only help with the obvious (yes, we are talking about yucchy sex) but also improves urinating ability, and God knows when that goes...you're pretty much screwed.

The UCL team has been refining a technique called phalloplasty, or penile enlargement...This involves cutting a flap of skin from the patient's forearm and shaping it into a penis four or five inches long...Following surgery, all patients were found to be satisfied with the cosmetic appearance of their penis, with four patients able to urinate standing up and four able to have regular sexual intercourse.

Well, whatever works. In other news, some other scientists have found out another potentially disturbing bit of news: The penis isn't just meant to be inserted and inseminate - it's actually also a semen removal tool (Link).

The team from the State University of New York believe the thrust of the penis during sex may help to clear a woman's reproductive system of a previous lover's semen....Lead researcher Professor Gordon Gallup told BBC News Online: "We theorize that as a consequence of competition for paternity, human males evolved uniquely configured penises that function to displace semen from the female vagina left by other males.

You know what? I think I'm going to be seriously thinking about having breakfast. The things these people think up - although I can bet you they had loads of fun experimenting with all those latex penii and artificial vaginas. Bah. Scientists.

Oo-er. I'm hungry. Later, folks.