Moment of Clarity

Dear Blog,

Those three words have played quite a large role in my life this past few days. Not only because I've sort of gotten my own, but also because it's closely related to the mess that is my emotional state as of this moment.

I'm relatively okay, thank you. And I've also come to realise that I've experienced my own moment of clarity. It's the knowledge that comes from the realisation that I've been labouring under an illusion for so long. I've been prone to "blowing my own trumpet" without realising, to the point that I thought I was possibly the best thing to ever happen to her, and the best person for the job.

I've woken up, now. Looking back, I remember all the times I half-jokingly told her I'd only let her go if she found someone better. And she has. As much as I'd hate to admit it, he's better looking, more refined, cultured and most important of all, he's been able to handle the little crises they had far better than I ever could. So what else is there for me to do but bow and gracefully exit stage right?

My moment of clarity was painful, yes. But it also made me realise how self-important I've become. I was so confident I was the ONE, that I forgot something better's always around the corner, and that life likes curveballs. It's one of those moments that make the saying "may the best man win" totally right.

As far as I know, he did win.

I guess I'll always be somewhat in love with her, and I don't think I can kill it, at least for now. Deep down, there'll always be that iota of hope that I CAN try again, even though she's made it painfully clear that I'm out of the list (that's typical Taurean stubbornness for you) for good.

It was hard, my moment of clarity. But it was also necessary. I don't know if my life will ever be the same after this, but then again, nothing's certain. We make do with what we have the best we can, and try to make sure that life's curveballs don't sweep us off our feet.

Take care, blog.