Let's Talk About Sex, Bay-beee..

Our desire to file, catalogue and compartmentalise everything has no bounds, apparently. Just when I thought I had the lingo down, another term/label comes up out of the blue to create another sub-group of people: Retrosexuals. Right. Thanks to that scintillating article, we now have a name to give that group of men who behave er..classically (for want of a better term). Think of most of our fathers. They'll be retrosexuals in that classic sense.

Which started me thinking: who the hell decides which group we belong to, how the hell do we know, and more importantly, does it even matter? I remember the days when things were quite clear cut. You could be:

a) Heterosexual
b) Homosexual or even
c) Bisexual

As far as I know, we can't be asexual (at least not yet) simply because of certain restrictions in the plumbing domain. Okay. The first three categories are, as far as most people are concerned quite straightforward. You either like people of the opposite sex, the same sex or even both. Hey, it's a free world. Whatever rocks your particular boat, as long as it's safe.

Now, spurred by various developments in the 21st century, we've added yet another one to the list earlier on: the metrosexuals. Apparently, should you fall into this category, you're a straight guy with the dress sense and aesthetic values of a gay one. You'll take very good care of your appearance, can possibly out-shop some women, and are generally popular with the girls. Ah.

Then there are others who insist that there are two more slightly dissimilar groups: the straight gay men, and the gay straight men. Gay straight men are somewhat like metrosexuals. Okay, so that's one down. As for the straight gay men, apparently they look and act straight, but are actually gay (phew, yeah I'm having problems keeping up as well). Incredible. I didn't know society could evolve so fast.

As for yours truly, I am just confused. Thinking about it, I may have some metrosexual tendencies, but the retro side of me shows up every once in awhile...which makes me a..semi-metro heterosexual with lapses of retrosexuality? Do I now put "other" in drop down boxes, and invent a new acronym for myself? Instead of PLU, do I now put PLM (people like me)?

What? Whaaaaaat? Grah.