Hey blog. News today: she's moving on, and I cried in the office. Full story at 10.

Amazing how the human mind works. Here I am, hurt and a little shaky..and I can still crack jokes like that. So it's official, she and Duncan are heading off. Yeah, I can say the name without flinching. I just finished a long talk with her, and she wanted to know how I felt about that. Rotten, of course. But what else can I do? She's a grown woman, and she needs..she needs someone near to her. So there, officially..she's moving on. I'm sure there's more..as in more to their relationship..but me being me, I didn't ask. I don't know if I can take the answers. Some things..my imagination tends to fill in. Am jealous as hell..but it won't change anything. So she says she's not discounting us, and that's a nice thought. It all depends on me, I guess. Will I still be here waiting for her? DO I still want to? I have no idea. I'm just tired, now. And the prospect of being alone, although scary, is less daunting, since I guess I've been thinking about it a lot..and expecting it.

So what peeves me? It's always difficult when an ex starts again, especially if you still feel strongly about her. I guess it's all the things I miss..and the things he'll do with/to her that I used to. In a way I resent it, since..well I think I don't have to outline what exactly those things are. Life goes on, I suppose. She's moved on, and so must I. It won't be easy, since I'm practically living in her apartment, feeding her cats and all that. But I suppose like all stoic hero types, I let go of her (unwillingly), lock up the memory palace, pocket the key and go forward. That's the only thing left TO do.

So, Princess..if you're reading this, go ahead and start again. You deserve it, I guess..after all you've gone through. Good luck..and..give it your best, both of you. It was a hell of a trip..and I think my stop's coming up next, where I get off this particular track. Fill me in from time to time..eh? I'd better stop before those tears come out.

Bye, you.

Ash "You read fantasy, ah?" Yusof