Chinese New Year Redux

So here I am again, a year gone. Arrived this afternoon at her house for the customary pre-CNY helpabout. Right now, everyone's in a festive mood and there's a lot of rushing around and last minute preparations to handle. Which is perfectly fine in my book. Some might think it strange that I choose to hang around even though there's no technical obligation to. That's perfectly alright, since even I think that way, sometimes.

And the best thing is, I'm not even Chinese. I've been spending the last 3 CNY celebrations at her parents' house in Perak, drinking in the atmosphere and festivities, so much so I've never realised how much we were a unit (yes, were..I know it's in the past tense) until most of her relatives/friends unconsciously ask after me when they talk to her. Pity the girl. It's like I left a "we" stigma on her (sorry, dear).

Funny, huh. I remember how scared I was the first time I joined them, and how self conscious I was. Fast forward a couple years and it's amazing how close I've gotten to the family. I can't even imagine considering severing my ties with them since being around them is just one of those things that just...make sense.

I'm glad that up to this point at least, I've been able to keep a somewhat stable hold on my emotions. This friend role needs some getting used to, but thank God I've been coping not too badly. It's just the way it is: I'm still quite in love with her, and there are times when the yearnings are almost overpowering and you just wish things could go back the way they were. Sometimes it gets weird how I can "discover" things about her that just make those feelings stronger, and I end up falling more and more into her, as it were.

Gah.

But they can't, at least not now. So whatever it is that's churning inside my muddled head (and various other body parts) will have to stay there. It's not often that the Ox lives in the moment, but for the next few weeks, he'll try to do just that: taking it in as it comes and enjoying every single minute of it.

I'm actually okay, and I'm (quite rightly, I think) very amazed. For those of you celebrating Chinese New Year, drive safe and have a good one. For those of you who don't, well..enjoy your holidays, anyway (but I tell you it's fun!!).

For now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some holiday cheer to absorb.