Is Your Life For Rent?

I'm having a melancholy attack. Driving from a meeting with a friend, this was on the radio: Bright Lights, by Matchbox 20. For an instant, everything blurred and I couldn't see a damn thing. Suddenly it hit me: I was driving home alone after meeting yet another person who surprisingly, is settling down. I have as yet no plans to do any such thing, but then again not having someone is something you never really adjust to. Not for a long while.

*****

Idlan wrote about something I didn't realise I was thinking about until today. As she puts it,

"If my life was for rent, who, in their right mind, would pay?"

Surprisingly, I answered in a comment.

"..we rent them out to the tenants while we wait to give the room out for free."

And so it sat there, looking at me. It occurred to me then that all of us rent out part of our lives to someone/something/somewhen. We go through our lives letting (and sometimes even subletting) all the while hoping that we'll find the tenant to whom we'll charge absolutely nothing at all. And until that day comes, we rent our lives and selves to our work, friends, and various miscellany. We reinvent ourselves continually, all the while convincing ourselves it's the right thing to do, and the change can only do us good. Maybe it's the way you walk. Maybe it's the colour of your hair. Maybe you start to flirt a little bit more, or get aggressive at work. We change our self projections the same way landlords repaint a facade..since it's nothing more than that. We hope that elusive tenant notices our spiffy new coat of paint, or the nice view. Others may tout that their particular lives are built on more stable ground than others.

Whatever we do, we're all landlords, fishing in the biggest, meanest realty market of all: Life.
Gah.

Maybe, maybe, maybe
You'll find something
That's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You can turn yourself around
And come on home

Bright Lights, Matchbox 20