Lives Left Behind


Conversations between friends these past few days have started an avalanche in my head, if that's possible. Early this morning as I was waiting for the PAS procession in Bangi to subside on the way to work, it suddenly hit my sleep-deprived head: am I clinging to a life that should be left behind?

Perhaps I am. I've realised that as much as I think I've changed in the past few months, part of me still clings to the old life, and to the hope that maybe it is still within reach. Preconceived notions and beliefs, habits and attitudes. Maybe it's because once you've tasted bliss (for me at least) it's kinda hard to live without it. Maybe it's because we're inherently resistant to change. Someone once asked me, "do you believe in second chances?". In my opinion at least, I think they're bloody common. You hear of people getting second chances all the time. What you rarely hear is of people who get THIRD chances.

They say the third time's the charm, either way. Either you make it on the third try, or you don't. I dunno. Right now I'm just concentrating on shedding my old life, like a snake skin. It was a good one, but I don't think I can live it anymore. There are pieces missing, and it doesn't work like that. If I'm lucky, I may get one of those fabled third tries. If I'm not, well, chalk it up to another lesson in that vast blackboard which is the school of life.

Enjoy the Sunday!