The Haunted Hall and Bikini Bottom

In recounting my adventures of the past week, I have been somewhat remiss in mentioning some of the minor details concerning my sojourn in this southern part of the country. Chief among these was the fact that the college where I am invigilating is reputed to be haunted by restless spirits - especially the examination hall where I am obliged to spend several hours a day with the students, and then several minutes at the end of each paper alone, as I collect and organise their answers. It is a huge testament to the power of the human imagination that as I was unaware of the hall's reputation during my first day here (not to mention the sickness I was afflicted with rendered me quite unable to be aware of anything besides my bodily functions) nothing in particular struck me as being perculiarly creepy, but once the fact was made known to me (in addition to the curious case of the posessed girl barely a couple of hours before my arrival) I began to view the rather large hall in a strange light.

I would be apprehensive when left alone in the hall, especially since there is only one entrance/exit, and making use of this particular portal required one to walk in close proximity to two doors that opened up into separate dark storage areas. A toilet adjacent to these storage spaces made up the third entity, and one cannot but help but remember the tale told to me at the clinic where I got my blood test of several students seeing a lone figure sitting down at one of the desks that lined the hall. Of course I only grinned, but being a survivor of multiple instances of questionable supernatural activity, I quickly learnt to prepare packing everything before the exam ended, pick the things up in one smooth motion and walk briskly out of the hall with no intention of turning back for anything.

This modus operandi has served me well in the past week, and I see no reason to change it. The simple fact that my dreams were also of a very dark and frightening disposition throughout (no doubt due to my fevered mind) served to further make my muscles tense up every time a paper ends each afternoon.

I comfort myself now with the thought that after Tuesday, I will only have time to attend to myself (and the Sofitel's largish pool seems like an extremely suitable venue for this activity). Yesterday afternoon I chanced upon a sweet young thing (or perhaps it is better said that she chanced upon me) as I was lounging on a deck chair by the poolside. Clad in a dark bikini and sun hat, she asked if she could have the chair near mine - I of course, affecting to be the perfect gentleman (also noticing the generous expanse of creamy flesh afforded my view) agreed almost immediately.

To make things even better, she pulled out a book and began reading. At this moment, my own nose was buried deep in Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell, and several glances from time to time to her side was very helpful in easing the fatigue brought upon by reading.

Alas, things weren't to stay rosy for long. After apparently falling asleep for about 15 minutes, she woke up and was about to jump into the pool when she changed her mind. I saw this as an excellent opportunity to ask why - when she replied the water was too cold.

As to the thoughts that coursed through my mind at this - I will refrain from comment. The gentle reader will be able to form their own opinions.

It struck me as odd her being alone, and I remarked as such. However, it must be said that I am rather proud of being able to hold my composure as she replied that her boyfriend was out on the golf course (the alternative being opening a hole in the ground and disappearing, but that seemed highly unlikely).

Luckily for me, a friend called to tell me he was nearing the lobby, so I bid a wink and a farewell to the highly desirable young lady and walked off. In the meantime of course, I couldn't help but wonder what would make a grown man leave such a delightfully proportioned companion for the company of grass, metal and wooden sticks, and a little pocked ball. There were of course, other thoughts, but since this is a family publication, I will leave it to the active imaginations of my readers.

Then I remembered that the mysteries of life are many, and that it would serve me well to see what other surprises I may find at the poolside. Interesting, and I have several more days.

Hmmm.