I hate myself. I'm crying like a baby as I'm typing..and I'm 25! I tried to sleep..and I found that I couldn't. I keep telling myself to move on, like she has..and I'm drawn to everything she said in that last conversation. I suck. I can't even move on properly..even after being told almost to my face that my ex (my ex!!) is now starting again with another guy..the guy who..who..

Fuck.

Get a grip, Ash. She's gone. You can cry your way to kingdom come, and it won't change a thing. It's not your game anymore..not your part to play. It's Duncan's..and he may never know how lucky he is..or how to appreciate what he has. You knew this was coming, but you were always so stubborn. And you always had too much faith in love.

So get on with the show. Block those thoughts from your mind. You know which ones. The ones that come into your head especially on the weekends..when you're all alone and you imagine her..with..him..and then, later..as you imagine what it will be like when he does..all..the things..

She's not yours, anymore. Not in the way you want her to be. Not yours. So think about it. Will going to see her change anything? Will it be worth it for you? What will you get? A reminder of things that were once there? Or one of the things you no longer have?

Shut the fuck up. Shut up!