Ah...the sweet moment of clarity. I think in everyone's life there comes an elusive moment (or 10) when everything seems clear and the fog that always seems to linger around the edges of your vision gets lifted and you see things as they really are (or at least, as real as they can get). These can either be epiphanies or downright mood destroyers. I think I had the former. And the result is...

that I realised I am a commitment freak. Yup, you read that right. In the age of Sex and The City, men who actually desire something more stable than a wham-bam-thank you ma'am unfortunately have it very hard indeed, regardless of what you may read in Cosmo, Cleo, Woman or any number of publications or watch on TV. No matter how many times you hear women lament about the non-existence of good, solid men, once you start making yourself shown...you usually end up finishing last. Yup, I suppose generations of men before me have finally reached their (unconscious) objective after centuries of cheating on women: reversing the positions so that now we're the ones looking for security. I guess there's only ourselves to blame. No wonder so many men I know have turned gay. They must have started off as guys looking for a stable relationship. Finding none, they then sought solace with other men suffering the same "affliction". Finally, realising how futile their search was, they just took it to the next level. Still a theory for now, but one I shall research pretty soon. Look out for updates.

Nice guys finish last. Bad guys always get the chicks. Didn't believe in it..although now I honestly think whoever came up with the phrase deserves to be called a prophet. Here I am, having just finished an extended conversation with my (girl??)friend, when it hit me: I've been moaning and moping for the past month because I lack the standard genetic component present in males that makes me safe, namely the particular gene that despises commitment, looks to have the most sex with the most amount of partners and simply doesn't give a fuck for anything beyond money, cars, fun, football and the next lay. So there we have it. The heart of the matter staring at my face. I stared back. It didn't budge. I didn't expect it to. I gave in, it gave me a cheeky look and ran off. Figures.

Anyway, to cut to the chase, the understanding is that both of us are free to pursue whatever activities with whomever we want, while maintaining a thread of emotional attachment only to each other. Do I like it? Not really. But I guess it works as a temporary solution. Of course, this also means that we both now have little to no authority pertaining to each other's sexual activities. (Ha!) But hey, we have to start somewhere. Of course, if I was a typical Alpha male, I'd be whooping for joy now and hitting the clubs or wherever men pick up women nowadays. However, seeing that I belong to a slowly dying breed (also known as The One You Can Always Count On or He Who Will Always Be There, also The Marrying Kind) I shake my head, sigh, and dig myself in deeper (read: wait. and footnote: this also because I don't have the money). BUT!! BUT!! I have also learned that that particular gene's traits CAN be simulated through practice and also much banging head against walls. Therefore, as of the new day, I am now..starting a restructuring program for this blog and my life! Moaning and moping to be limited!! More exposure to Life Events!! Much ado about Nothing!! Actively pursue more Alpha Male-oriented Lifestyle!! And so on..

It'll take some time, I know. But once you're here..might as well go all the way. Hey, if all else fails, there's always that schoolteacher back in my hometown who had a crush on me since I was 12 and she 10. There may be some truth in this whole love after marriage thing...Hmm... Well, that's all for today, folks. My sofa beckons...g'night!