Hey people. Just another short update before I turn in. Went to watch a movie with Rosalia and Johan just now. Was supposed to be Willard, but as expected, it was a limited release and was shown only twice for this day. Dang! Had to settle for Tears of The Sun instead. Not bad, since it had Bruce Willis in it (yup, have a soft spot for his movies). Nice lil actioner in the vein of Black Hawk Down but with less emphasis on the poor American soldiers. Quite enjoyable. Nearly halfway through the movie, I glanced around and saw most if not all of the couples were already snuggling close to each other, Lia and Johan included. I bear no grudge against them..just that once again, the movie faded out of mind and I had one of those flashbacks again..

I hate being like this. I hate getting all worked up when I see other couples having fun..and being with each other. I guess, on a certain level, I resent that I had that..and I lost it. I resent that while other people are holding hands and snuggling up, I'm alone, hugging myself to ward off the cold in the cinema. And I resent that I no longer have her to be with, to share the movie and other things with..and most of all to come home to..and talk to. At that moment, thoughts of her having a good time with someone else flashed through my head..and I 'd be lying if I said I didn't resent that too..just for a bit.

Resentful or not..life goes on. And so mine will. I anticipate more of these feelings..but I think I'm ready for them. The same way I'm ready for every sunrise, workday and anything else life may throw at me. Urgh..time to sleep, I guess. Maybe in dreams I can get some release..and some peace. Goodnight, people.