There And Back Again (Volume Two)

To paraphrase a certain celebrity governor: I'm back.

Toting my shiny and very heavy new Neal Stephenson masterpiece, I trudged into KLIA at about 6 pm. Man, am I out of it. I'll have to ask forgiveness from most if not all bloggers, since I've been missing out on almost a month's worth of entries.

The Ox is sorry.

Like always, I'm astounded by how warped our sense of time can be. Sometimes it feels like molasses, engulfing us, and moving so imperceptibly one questions one's faith in the minute hands of clocks. Other times, it zips by so fast like blood from a torn jugular, a Sampras serve, or one of those things that go fast (forgive me, am still slightly jet lagged).

As the plane nosed out of Auckland, I couldn't help but wish (as always) that I could do it all over again, that armed with my hindsight, I could have done things better. There will always be regrets, I think. But what matters is how much we put into them. I flew to New Zealand for something I believed in, and still do. The trip made me realise that I HAVE grown up, and that when push comes to shove, I'm prepared to fight tooth and nail for what I believe in.

Also, that I can jump off a bridge and survive.

Life IS about risk, even in a small way. Everything we do runs a risk of making us lose physically or emotionally. But then again, without those risks, would what we have mean as much? Some may argue what's the sense of putting ourselves out on a limb if there are no guarantees? I say: that's when you take a breather and assess your position. Calculated risks are always better in my book.

And so I go on, back to work, back to friends and back to life. Whatever I needed to say has been said, and whatever I could do has been done. The cards are on the table, I've just upped the ante and if I'm gonna go out, why the hell not go with a bang? Good ol' fight's still there in me, that I can promise. So for now, at least, I lick my wounds and marshall my strength.

I reckon there's just about enough left for one last stand. Besides, I ain't heard no fat lady sing yet.

(wink, wink)