Tuesday: Payback's A Bitch, and She Kicks Hard
This is a rant of sorts. No, scratch that. Call it a personal observation. Pardon the angry tone - and also, the contents.
Having had a particularly good Monday (from beginning to somewhat late end, and then some) I was more than slightly perturbed to suddenly get one of the most incomprehensible and perhaps irritating kinds of people smash their stuff in my face. Today's lesson, boys and girls, is about who I call the Self-Validation Addicts (SVA, for easier usage).
I think we've all met them at some point in our lives. They're the people who whilst otherwise appearing extremely normal or even affable at times have a peculiar craving to feel good about themselves by:
a) Telling people every single thing they do or accomplish, normally in a manner that somehow seems like it's wheedling for a compliment, but confront them about it and they'll deny it to hell,
b) Making it appear that their efforts at being good/nice/sexy/whatever is the best thing since sliced bread, therefore everyone MUST know,
c) Generally talking about themselves a wee bit too much,
d) And also quick to assume an aura of self-superiority.
Is it a coinkidink that some of these people (at least the ones I've met) never really listen to what you say because they're too busy talking about themselves?
I think not. Yes, this is an angry rant. To a certain extent, everyone loves praise. The id simply cannot sit idly by and not be recognised for what it perceives are its achievements. I remember reading somewhere that one of the main reasons people enter relationships is because humans have an innate fear of not being remembered. The possibility of passing through life without anyone to notice you were there, or that you mattered scares the bejeesus out of most people.
This is true, I think. We all like feeling good about ourselves. However, most people learn to balance their need for praise and high self esteem as they proceed through life, up to a point where they know they are worthy of happiness/good sex/a good job/wonderful children/etc without having the whole world need to stop what we're doing and give you a huge collective pat-on-the-back.
I have a theory, and it ties in with that Maslow thing. I posit - that SVAs, who actually can grow to fulfill Maslow's hierarchy of needs very well, somehow cannot seem to move beyond the "Self Esteem" stage. They seem stuck there, bound by an invisible glass ceiling that for all intents and purposes, is unbreakable.
And that, ladies and gents, is the sad thing. For every step they take towards self actualisation, they get dragged back simply because they cannot function without the validation they so desperately crave. One obvious consequence of this is that they turn out to be the best kind of psychic leech there is, and I've met a lot of different ones.
Okay, that's it. I knew having such a good Monday would have dire aftereffects. If you're still here, Gentle Reader, please accept my apologies and have some pr0n. Well, maybe not pr0n, but interesting links, nonetheless.
And that's all folks.
A vintage Japanese guide to handholding, foreplay, and navel sex (with the aid of paper cutouts, no less!)
Sotheby's to auction the world's oldest pornography material
Science fiction covers from the age of sleaze